Hide Your Kids and Hide Your Wife: It's Mercury Retrograde Time

Posted by Posh Goth on

Mercury Retrograde

(Posh Goth) - From March 5 through March 28, an opportunity is afforded to us Earthlings where we have an entire three weeks devoted to blaming our self-inflicted problems on my favorite scapegoat and yours: the Mercury retrograde.


A Little Bit About Mercury

Because Mercury is the closest planet to the Sun, its orbit time is much shorter than the time it takes the Earth to do a lap around the Sun. This also means years on Mercury are much shorter than that of Earth's - 88 days to be exact, compared to our 365. 

Mercury retrograde (also known as apparent retrograde motion) is a phenomena in which the planet appears to move in a direction that is opposite to that of Earth several times throughout the year. In other words, Mercury appears to move backwards.

However, this is an optical illusion. Planets Earth and Mercury can be thought of as race cars doing laps around a race track. When Mercury catches up to Earth on the track, it appears to move backwards in an eastward trajectory. This illusion is exactly the same as the illusion of passing a backwards moving big rig on the highway - it looks like the truck is moving backwards because the car you are in is going faster.

"It Wasn't Me" 

Thanks largely in part to social media, interest in the New Age and astrology movements is at an all time fervor, and it's easy to see why: accounts like @witcheryway and @thehoodwitch make it look sexy AF

However, with the meteoric rise of the movement comes a direct correlation to blaming all of our self-induced problems on this shiny new scapegoat. Miss your flight? Mercury retrograde. Lose your job? Mercury retrograde. Break up with your mate? Mercury retrograde. 


Mercury retorgrade is a sexy cop out that spans the course of several weeks, and it happens 3 times this year. All I gotta say is: sign me up. 

BUT WAIT! There's more!

Other planets have retrogrades throughout the year, thus meaning we have more options for deflecting blame! For your convenience, here is the 2019 calendar of retrogrades so you can plan ahead:

Retrograde dates[1[2][3] in 2019
Planet Start Midpoint (i.e. when sh*t hits the fan) End
Mercury Mar 5 Mar 15 Mar 28
Jul 7 Jul 19 Aug 1
Nov 1 Nov 11 Nov 21
Venus ----- ----- -----
Mars ----- ----- -----
Jupiter Apr 10 Jun 10 Aug 11
Saturn Apr 29 Jul 9 Sep 18
Uranus Aug 11 Oct 28 Jan 11
Neptune Jun 21 Sept 10 Nov 27


1. Victor, Robert. "School-Year Preview of Planetary Events, August 2018-June 2019". Retrieved 2018-10-05.

2. ^ "Topocentric Configuration of Major Solar System Bodies". Retrieved 2018-10-05.

3. ^ Edgar, James S. (editor). Observer's Handbook 2019. The Royal Astronomical Society of Canada. ISBN 9-781927-879153.


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